God was at work when my friends died

Natasha Percy | 31 March 2008

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Nicola Robinson, whose father Stuart is the rector at St Paul’s Chatswood, had become good friends with Tiffany Johnson (26) and Philip Crouse (24) when she completed YWAM’s one-year Discipleship Training School in 2006.

Her return trip to visit them and others turned into an experience of tragedy, grief and the grace of God. In the early hours of the morning of December 9, Tiffany Johnson and Philip Crouse had been cleaning up from a Christmas banquet when lone gunman Matthew Murray opened fire on them and injured two other staff members - Dan Griebenow and Charlie Blanch - after being told he could not stay for the night. Nicola travelled with other YWAM friends to a nearby hospital, where Tiffany and Philip later died of their injuries. “I was with Tiffany that evening - in fact I was speaking with her 20 minutes before she was shot,” Nicola recalls. “Tiff lived every moment for Jesus - even to the last. I still find it hard to believe she’s dead.”

Nicola has spent much time reflecting on the character and legacy of her friends in the aftermath of their deaths. “Tiff was a young woman who loved Jesus and was deeply committed to serving Him whatever the cost. Tiff was utterly selfless. She had a passion for skate ministry and young expectant girls,” she says.

“My other really good friend Phil Crouse had been wonderfully converted. He’d been a member of a skin-head gang. Phil was learning languages and was excited about cross-cultural mission.”

Nicola grieved with the YWAM community as it started to deal with the tragedy. “People were asking the, ‘could God really be in this?’ questions, of course. It was two weeks before graduation and a major outreach. It certainly brought us all very close together. People were feeling vulnerable and frightened and we were able to comfort and support each other in our grief. Many tears were shed. And I think we were (are) coming to terms with the reality of God’s sovereignty.”

In the midst of great sorrow however, Nicola says the hand of God was not difficult to see, even if it was hard to understand. “Great glory was brought to the name of Christ at the memorial service. It was picked up by the (global) secular press. People spoke of the transforming power of the gospel in the lives of Tiff and Phil. It became a matter for public record that Tiff’s family and that of the gunman met together for prayer and reconciliation. So the ‘could God really be in this?’ question is answered with a resounding ‘yes’ even though it breaks my heart that Tiff and Phil are dead. Death sucks.”

Nicola reflects sadly that this was not the first time she had cried with YWAM friends. “In 2006 I was on mission in Mexico when a team member, Hong Tae Kim, drowned. I found his death quite shocking. I’d never been that close to death before,” she says. “To see more friends die while serving Jesus has been tough. It really has.”

However as Nicola looks towards the future, these losses have given her a different take on life and ministry. “I think I’m getting a clearer sense that life is really short and that I need to use my time wisely. I do want to be like Tiff and Phil and make every moment count for Christ,” she says.

Nicola plans to return to Denver in June for another YWAM course before studying at SMBC in 2009. “I also think I’m learning that being a disciple of Jesus costs. Mark 8:35 now leaps off the pages… ‘for if you want to save your own life you will lose it; but if you lose your life for me and the gospel, you will save it’.”

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