Diary of a novice minister - 4

KAMAL WEERAKOON is combining full-time study at Moore College with ministry at St Anne’s, Strathfield. He shares his trials and joys as a trainee minister.

I’ve just handed in an essay. I’m exhausted. I stayed up until 3am this morning to finish it. It was hard work – I had to analyse the ethical theory of H. Richard Niebuhr, an American liberal Lutheran theologian. I’d never heard of him before, and don’t ever want to hear of him again!  He’s caused me way too much grief and stress. It’s just not ethical.

It’s not just me. This is stress time at college. Everyone’s got exams and essays and assignments. There’s a general feel of panic. Tempers could fray, sharp words could be exchanged – because everyone’s really busy and tired and stressed. In my corridor, a sign has appeared that nicely sums up our mood: ‘Out-read, Out-write, Out-study: Survivor, Moore College’.

Why is it like this? Studying the Bible was supposed to be a pleasure. Living with mature, motivated, ministry-minded people was supposed to be a joy. Why are we all wandering around with bloodshot eyes and furrowed brows? 

I could blame the big, nasty ‘system’…but they’ve cut back on the workload. Maybe I shouldn’t complain. Come to think of it, the assignments are nicely spaced out during the year; we’re not getting thumped with everything at once. In fact, we got all the essay questions back in January. I know some people finished off at least one essay in the summer holidays, before the academic year even started! (Bah! Nerds…)

So, why are we all so stressed? 

I think it’s because…we care. When I was at university, I didn’t really care. Well, I cared about my mark – because I was really competitive and career-minded – but I didn’t really care about the topic. 

Now it’s exactly the opposite. I don’t really care about what mark I get. But I really want to work things out! I mean, I’m dealing with the word of God – understanding it, communicating it. And I’m soon going be responsible for the lives of a group of people. Not just life in this world – their eternal life. I want to serve them as best I can, I want to lead them the correct way and I want to tell them what’s right. 

Maybe that’s why we’re all stressed. That’s why I’m exhausted. That’s why my mature, motivated, ministry-minded colleagues are stressed. Because we care. 

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