There are many ordinary parents doing an extraordinary job. They love each other, love their children and have decided they want to give something extra back to the community. They decide to become foster carers. For many Christian foster carers, it is an important way to express their love for God, and put their faith into action. Some see it as their ministry.
It's a bit of a journey as prospective foster carers begin their training (over six weeks), and a comprehensive assessment (taking up to six months). When approved they often wait some time for a child to be placed with them.
For specific reasons the courts decide at times that some children can't safely live with their parents. Some children come into care for a short time until the Children's Court makes a decision about their future. These children are placed with temporary foster carers. Once a long term order is made at court, the children are placed with long-term foster parents where it is intended they will remain until they are grown up.
Having worked in the ANGLICARE Sydney foster care team I know that the team strive to make the best match possible between the child and the foster family by carefully considering all the child's needs, and the particular strengths of a foster family before they place a child.
Jan and Simon became aware of ANGLICARE Sydney's foster care program through some friends at their church who provide respite care for a young boy. I asked Jan and Simon, who are now foster parents themselves, what the highs of foster parenting are for them.
"Seeing such amazing changes in Jack over the last two years is so rewarding", says Jan.
"He's such a settled, changed little boy with such a bright future. Jack and Susie (Jan and Simon's biological daughter) are such good mates- they are inseparable."
After placement in a family, kids usually have regular contact with their birth parents which is important both for them and their birth parents. Kids like to know their parents are OK and parents want to see that their children are doing well in care. Kids do best when they know the story behind their placement in a foster family. Where possible, it is important to have an open, cooperative and supportive relationship between foster parents and birth parents. Jan says, "You can see how much Jack loves his mum and she loves him too."
Simon says he was surprised when Jack first came to be with his foster family, that they couldn't just fix some of his challenging behaviours straight away. He says the ANGLICARE Sydney team have been a wonderful support to their family and have helped them to access appropriate professional help when it has been needed. Today their friends comment that they are amazed that Jack has come such a long way since being placed with Jan and Simon.
You don't need lots of money to be a foster parent. You do need to like kids and have a deep reservoir of warmth, realism, 'other-centredness' and a sense of humour. You do need to be able to look after yourself, and be able to accept help and support from the team at ANGLICARE Sydney.
It's not for everyone but for many who have ventured down the road to becoming foster careers, the rewards have far outweighed the challenges. Little did Jan and Simon know how much they would find in themselves to give, and little did they expect to see such growth and development in Jack in just two and a half years.
"He's got such a bright future. I fully hope that Jack will end up functioning as well as he would have, had he not had such a rough start", says Jan.
"He's a gifted child, bored stiff with preschool at the moment. He can't wait to go to school. He was tested and is off the IQ scale!" says Simon.
If you are interested in learning more about becoming a foster carer, you can download an information pack or call ANGLICARE Sydney on 9890 6800 and speak to an intake worker about foster care.
"I can't understand why more people don't feel compelled to do it. I think we were called to do it", says Jan.
