I’m in Melbourne right now arranging parenting training and am about to attend the Marriage and Relationship Educators Biannual conference. I’m staying in Albert Park and I travel into the CBD by tram each day. The tram is usually crowded with workers on their way to the office. Yesterday, on a crowded tram, there were two youngish parents sitting next to me with their four year old daughter and two year old son. As a result of their uninhibited conversation, I now know the children’s names are Ellie and Toby and I know the family were all going to the dentist for a visit.

On a usually silent tram when all you hear is the occasional person chatting on their mobile phone making some arrangement, I was pleased to hear the parents of Ellie and Toby patiently answering the comments and questions particularly from Ellie. Ellie gave a running commentary on the trip and why they were making it together as a family, on what she understood about life and what Toby was yet to learn! The billboards were a particular fascination for Ellie who wanted her parents to read out the big words and explain the message. When the discussion turned to why the family were heading off to the dentist, Ellie started talking about ‘two teeths’. Without pointing out her grammatical error, her father then said ‘One tooth, two teeth, three teeth, four teeth’ and Ellie repeated it. Great incidental learning taking place I thought.

Toby loudly commented on the water fountain shooting jets of water into the air outside the National Gallery of Victoria and the family acknowledged his delight. The children were enjoying the trip, the parents were attentive to the children and it was a joy to hear a family engaging with each other in a positive way.

At one stage the dad addressed the issue of the toilet with the children and I thought ‘Whoa! There could be a potentially embarrassing conversation to follow on a very quiet tram.’ Thankfully Mum started talking more softly putting her finger to her lips, and the kids followed her lead.

Many years ago I heard the story of a young girl traveling with her grandmother in the bus on the way home from an outing in the city. There were big posters in the bus advertising help for people who had V.D. ‘What’s V.D?’ she asked in a loud voice on the quiet bus. ‘Oh’ said grandma, ‘It’s like when you get measles very badly.’ I’m sure a few fellow travelers had a chuckle to themselves.

Have you handled difficult questions from children in a public situation and told a ‘white lie’? Does it matter? I’d love to hear some real life stories from parents.