AUDIO
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Phillip Jensen speaks on Anger as part of a series on emotions in the Christian life, delivered at the Australia Day Convention 2010
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When I proposed to my girlfriend several weeks ago, I chose to ask her that important question in person.
When I discovered the Rocks Aroma Festival, I chose to send her an email with the link, asking if she’d like to go along.
For my sister’s birthday on Saturday, I chose to phone her and wish her all the best.
Each day we make choices as to how we will communicate particular things to particular people.
The same is true of ministry, but I feel in this context, email is too quickly selected as the best means of communication. It’s understandable - email communication is just so convenient. It doesn’t take long to write an email – and in fact, it takes the same time to send an email to one person as it does to send to your whole congregation. There are lots of efficiency gains to be had.
However, I think we need to be more discerning with when we use email to communicate. Not necessarily because of the disadvantages of email (though there are many!), but because of the advantages of personal (face-to-face or voice-to-voice) communication.
I’ve put together some guiding principles for when email should be avoided (based on my own observations and mistakes) – what do you think?
1. Avoid email…when you are asking someone to serve.
Inviting someone to participate in ministry is a special interaction. You are recognising that they have gifts and abilities that make them suitable to serve, and you are inviting them to use these gifts to serve the Body. It’s easy to think of asking someone to serve as simply filling a gap, but by making this a personal conversation (phone or face-to-face) you have the opportunity to encourage them (by noting the gifts you’ve seen that God has given them), and by painting a picture of the vision you have for the ministry, with their involvement.
2. Avoid email…when you need a quick response.
If you need to confirm that Suzie can read the Bible at church on Sunday, if it’s less than four days out, a phone call is the best way to confirm. A phone call enables instant confirmation (rather than waiting for a response, or wondering if they even got the email!), and if they are unable to serve, you’ve still got time to find a replacement.
3. Avoid email…when you want to encourage someone.
Think of the difference if you were to receive an email encouraging you for the good job you did praying at church on Sunday, or if you received a phone call to communicate the same encouragement. The effort taken to make the phone call, plus the personal nature of the conversation, makes email the lesser option.
4. Avoid email…when you are upset.
I’ve sent emails when I’ve been upset, and this was foolish. I’ve said things that I would never have said in person. I’ve reacted to things that would have easily been clarified if I’d picked up the phone or met up in person. It’s easy to fire off an email when upset, but it’s a foolish option.
5. Avoid email…if there’s any chance your email might be misunderstood.
The written word is easily misunderstood – either because the writer may not have written clearly, or because the reader may have read with his or her own bias. Regardless, if there’s a chance that a misunderstanding might occur, the potential time spent in damage control dealing with the miscommunication will soon overtake the time you should have spent making the original phone call.
6. Avoid email…when you are cancelling or apologising.
It’s not easy to tell someone that you can no longer come along to an event, or can no longer (or would no longer like to) be involved in a particular ministry. Email is an easy way to communicate this, but I think it’s a cop-out. I think this is a simple issue of courtesy (and the same goes for cancelling via SMS!). Similarly, it’s much easier to apologise over email than in person. To apologise in person displays humility, plus you have the advantage of being able to ask for forgiveness, and for the other person to offer forgiveness, thus restoring the relationship.
7. Avoid email…when you have a suggestion on how to do something better (i.e. constructive criticism!).
When you send an email, you don’t know how the recipient is going. They could be having a terrible day/week/month. Your feedback could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back! Giving feedback in person allows you to see how the other person is going, read the visual cues, and communicate gently where necessary!
8. Avoid email…when you are rebuking.
Similar to the example above, delivering (and receiving) a rebuke isn’t easy at the best of times. In personal interactions, facial expressions and body language count for a lot (this video gives a good explanation of non-verbal cues). When rebuking, responding to these cues is important. Therefore, I would go the further step to suggest that the best way to rebuke is face-to-face, not even over the phone.
9. Avoid email…when the interaction will be back and forth.
Email isn’t the forum to converse – it takes time, it’s prone to misunderstandings and it’s not immediate. If you want to have a conversation with someone, have a conversation.
10. Avoid email…to share private information.
When you are sending an email, like it or not, there is the potential that the contents of the email may be shared with others. This isn’t always a bad thing (e.g. you can forward an email with prayer points), but private information that would be harmful if distributed beyond the recipients of the email should be discussed in person. Therefore it’s safe to assume that the contents of an email may be made public, and communicate in person where necessary.
This is just a start based on my own experience - what would you add or subtract from this list?
I think a reason I am tempted to dive for email rather than phone or other forms of communication is that it is cheaper. Fuel to drive to someone's house or call someone up costs me more than a group email. Perhaps I just need to be less stingy.
Email's great but it doesn't allow you to gauge the other person's response. Face to face is brilliant for this, phone is ok but not as good. Particularly true for asking people to serve, rebuking, and apologising. Even (or especially!) proposing.
I read somewhere once "inagine if the phone was creatd after emails had been around for a while. We'd all be addicted to making phone calls and marvelling at how fantastic it was that we could talk in person and receive instantaneous responses to what we said."
I'm someone who would much rather prefer email communication - it's so much cheaper and easier. But I'm trying hard to use it wisely and to recognise the costs and benefits of different methods of communication.
* I express things better when I can take the time to reword sentences.
* I'm not going to interrupt somebody at an inconvenient time with an email.
* They can take time to think about what I've said before they respond (though they may not take advantage of that opportunity!).
But I think all the points in your list are good ones - maybe there are workarounds to my email-loving rationale that I need to learn...?
I have to admit that I subscribe to The Briefing electronically. It is cheaper and takes up less space, but I quickly browse it. If I had a paper copy, I think I'd read the whole thing carefully.
But if I did subscribe to the print copy, where on earth would I keep them? And I would lose the ability to easily print from it [which I rarely do!]
My own experience is that I subscribe to some missios prayer points. They arrive at regular intervals and I have developed a discipline that i do not delete the email until I have prayed. I wish I could implement this kind of system for the rest of my prayer life :)
Hard copy things, on the other hand, tend to get filed very quickly .... in the usual place.
I am sure they do not read it as carefully ... if they read it at all.
However, I also admit that it is easy to dismiss hard copy.
I agree
I think communicating is very difficult to achieve.
Fro example, when I was in crowd control [which some people call high school music teaching] both schools I taught at were enthusiastic about school musicals. Scores and scores of kids got involved in both schools.
They used to let us have a final week of rehearsals, and our classes were minded by gracious non-Music and Drama staff.
The kids would ask every time: Where were you Mr McKay?
And every time I'd reply: We've been rehearsing for the musical.
And every single time someone would ask: What musical?
Yet we bombarded the school with every kind of publicity we could think of. They were advertised in newspapers and on radio. We couldn't imagine how they could not know about our mighty production!
Cocnerning the mighty electronic media, I think it's great for its interactivity. But I don't get the same experience from reading Southern Cross online [and, ahem ... where is it, please!] as I do from picking up a copy at Kingswood Anglican when we visit our daughter and family.
Proves I'm an oldie?
How many young NRMA members read the online Open Road? I understand it is published bimonthly as a magazine and bimonthly online.
I am guessing that many folk, young or old, don't read the print version, and that many many more never ever read the online version, or even know it is available.
I only know about it because someone previously used it as an illustration of the benefits of printed material over online stuff.
I have never seen the online version.