A friend of mine who is a lovely Christian recently stop going to church.

She said she is good enough for just going to campus bible study, no need for church. Her spiritual life is dying, I can tell.

I wonder what should I say to her?

She seems like going through some difficult time at the moment. When I asked her, “Are you disappointed with God?” Her tear flows and she tried to hold it back. I’m not really close to her, so I didn’t pursue the question. Therefore, I don’t much about it.

Please pray for her situation.
Please also pray that God will use me or someone who can guide her back to the right track for the sake of the gospel.

And ..
can you go to church but not go to campus bible study?

It is very sad when people don’t join in opportunities at their place of work or study, too

but ... I was one of them when I was a student.

David McKay - 11 September 2008 12:07 PM

And ..
can you go to church but not go to campus bible study?
.

Well, I think she enjoy the fellowship at campus rather than church.

I met her a yrs ago when I was looking for a church. She was doing same thing as I was. My concern is that she is graduating very soon and I worry about her spiritual life when she is no longer hang around in the Campus.

....or she is not liking it at Church and is avoiding it....

Church can be a rough place to survive at times.

I’d suggest that Campus Bible Study is Church, if she is getting regular Christian fellowship on at least a weekly basis, then I wouldn’t fret that she isn’t going to church twice a week.  If she pulls out of Christian fellowship altogether, then I’d be concerned.

For me I run an after school Kids Club for kids whos parents don’t go to church on Sunday.  For those kids Thursday afternoon is Church, I don’t feel compelled to get the kids along on Sundays, although I’d love to see their parents on Sundays and if they brought their kids well and good.

To me Church is; God’s people, meeting around God’s word.  That would include components from the first church Acts 2:42 “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.” If this is going on then that is church. Also a little singing wouldn’t hurt but isn’t mandatory.
Ephesians 5:19
Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord,

Ray Lau - 11 September 2008 11:39 AM

A friend of mine who is a lovely Christian recently stop going to church.

....

I wonder what should I say to her?

Just encourage her to keep meeting with other Christians that she knows and likes. Ideally it would be good if another Christian girl were meeting up with her to read the bible, even if she doesn’t feel she can handle church.  As long as she feels cared for by those in the Christian community that matter to her, and is happy to maintain contact with them, that’s a good start.

She seems like going through some difficult time at the moment. When I asked her, “Are you disappointed with God?” Her tear flows and she tried to hold it back.

Avoiding church because of disappointment with God or with God’s people is not ideal, but it’s understandable.

I’m not excusing it, nor condemning it - but sometimes if we feel like God is not good to us in one or more areas of our lives, while all the people we go to church with seem to have it all in comparison to the little we’ve gotten, it can be difficult being around those people. Perhaps she feels different to those around her at church, or inferior, or poorer or less blessed in some way.

Please pray for her situation.
Please also pray that God will use me or someone who can guide her back to the right track for the sake of the gospel.

Will do. Ideally it is more appropriate for girls to minister to girls and guys to minister to guys. There can be complications otherwise…

TZ.

I’d suggest that Campus Bible Study is Church, if she is getting regular Christian fellowship on at least a weekly basis, then I wouldn’t fret that she isn’t going to church twice a week.  If she pulls out of Christian fellowship altogether, then I’d be concerned.

I agree that it is church. However if she’s about to graduate, is she intending to somehow still attend it? Uni ministries are wonderful, but their transience is a problem.

Hi Craig and others.
Interesting topic

What is church?

I think it involves meeting with other Christians regularly, but also submitting to the authority of leadership of a local church. This could be the leaders of Campus Bible Study.

Hi Ray,

I’m not quite sure what to say, so I’ll just speak from what I think and from experience so one option you could say, that it’s fine that she is happy going to CBS whilst at uni because it is wonderful, but to consider going to church when she can, or finding a chuch where she feels like she can have the fellowship and encouragement like she has at CBS. Obviously the university campus is very unique because of the nature of the time period in life, and so other churches won’t be exactly the same.

One thing that someone ( my bible study leader) pointed out to me when I was at CBS ( I had become a christian over my first year at uni) was one day when I graduated I wouldn’t have CBS anymore, and that it was important to find somewhere that you can grow and encourage others and be encouraged as a christian and where you can share in fellowship with other christians as we’re called to do… whilst at uni you have ‘church’ you know it’s temporary. It would be easier to look and spend the time finding a place where you be at church… rather than later, because it’s actually a lot harder when you finish uni and start work and it does take time to be a part of a church…

In your friend’s situation it appears she is kindof apart of a church, and not knowing what’s going on there, can’t provide much clarity there, so whether it’s a time thing ( just can’t do both - which is fine, I cut back on CBS at the end of uni cos at that point was the right thing to focus on graduating and serving at my own church) or perhaps she needs to resolve things at her own church first… in which case I’m not sure what I can suggest, not really one for wisdom here..

You could offter to possibly visit with her or encourage her to speak to other females/bible study leaders at cbs to talk about it :)

Probably have repeated a few things others have, but hope it helps. :)

Ray, why not encourage her to talk to someone at CBS?  Maybe she’s in a CBS small group and could talk to one of her leaders, or she could seek out one of the female pastoral staff?  There are obviously deeper issues going on here than just church and they would probably be quite well-equipped to help your friend.  1 to 1 pastoral care is usually better done in a same-gender context if possible.

Dannii Willis - 12 September 2008 12:06 AM

I’d suggest that Campus Bible Study is Church, if she is getting regular Christian fellowship on at least a weekly basis, then I wouldn’t fret that she isn’t going to church twice a week.  If she pulls out of Christian fellowship altogether, then I’d be concerned.

I agree that it is church. However if she’s about to graduate, is she intending to somehow still attend it? Uni ministries are wonderful, but their transience is a problem.

Hi Craig and Dannii,

I agree with you that CBS or other Christian fellowship style groups are church-like, and could even be termed church depending on your definition. I also agree that it’s better to go to CBS or EU, or even a bible study group, than nothing at all.  However, in my experience of EU, uni ministries are not intended to take the place of church, but rather to supplement it.  People who became Christians at EU were recommended local churches to go to and introduced to fellow EU-ers who went to them.  There is also usually a large overlap in attendance between a uni ministry and its allied church - you’ll find that students who go to the church are encouraged to take part in the uni ministry, and vice versa.

Part of the reason for this is that there are many things which church provides, that uni ministries can’t, or don’t.  Particularly, there are things which happen in ‘church church’ :) which are integral to our lives as Christians, which simply don’t happen in these groups.  I think particularly of the sacraments - for example, in my 5 years at EU we never once celebrated Communion (I assume this is also the case at CBS and other groups).  A Christian who only attended CBS would thus never partake in the Lord’s Supper, something I find quite concerning.  Other things you’d miss out on week-to-week include saying the Lord’s Prayer, the Creeds, singing (except on camps, I guess, there was always singing on camps), communal prayer… I guess my point is that campus ministries are close, but no cigar.  Christians who opt out of church do themselves, their relationship with God, and their relationship with the body of Christ a sad disservice in my opinion.

I agree, though, that it’s better than nothing, and echo your point Dannii, that if she’s about to graduate then she really does need to find something else…

Pax

Nicole

[last paragraph edited for clarity… ramble ramble]

As I know she meet up a female MTS worker at Campus regularly and the MTS worker know where she is at the moment. Perhaps we can take this as a good news.

My major concern is her Christian life after uni. So please keep praying.

Nic got a good point Uni ministry doesn’t intend to replace the local church. I find uni ministry is somewhat like a supplement outside of the church.

As I know she meet up a female MTS worker at Campus regularly and the MTS worker know where she is at the moment. Perhaps we can take this as a good news.

I think that’s good news :) We’ll keep praying for your friend!

Nic