There’s plenty of them… Why don’t we dig them out and share them… SO many of the other threads are serious, how about a giggle inducing thread...Will post one later… :)

A bit of self-deprecation never hurts:

Did you know that Anglicans will have a special place in God’s Kingdom?

1 Thess. 4:16

the dead in Christ will rise first.

How many presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb???

.......

I think you all know the answer to this one already.  ;-)

PS.  I’m married to one, so this is ok.

I don’t know any jokes....

[quote author="Alan Dungey"]A bit of self-deprecation never hurts:

Did you know that Anglicans will have a special place in God’s Kingdom?

1 Thess. 4:16

the dead in Christ will rise first.

Rico Tice told that one at Men’s convention in front of a few high-profile Anglicans… I don’t think they appreciated it :-)

How many Anglo-Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None, they use candles instead.

How many Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: The whole congregation has to vote on it.

How many Bretherens does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Change????

How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. God has predestined when the light will be on and off.

How many liberals does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb they still may not change it to keep from alienating those who might use other forms of light.

WHo was the Bible’s first economist?

A: Noah… he floated his stock when the rest of the world was in liquidation.

My fav is,

“Did you know it is more biblical for men to make beer than it is to make wine?”

“In fact they wrote a whole book on it?

Hebrews

At our church we considered putting this verse over the door to our baby crying room

We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed

Well you know what song they sang at the wedding feast when Jesus changed water into wine?

“Red red wine......”

[quote author="Andrew Read"]At our church we considered putting this verse over the door to our baby crying room

We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed

There’s the “Dentist’s Psalm"… Psalm 81:10b:

“Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.”

Why don’t Baptists make love standing up?

It might lead to dancing.

Q.  How Many Anglicans does it take to change a light bulb?

A.  Change?  How Dare You!  My Grandmother donated that light bulb.

Where did Noah keep the bees?

In the archives

[Cue groan]

Some truly ordinary displays of humour here!!!!  Although I like that verse for the crying room.

PS.  If you’re ever in a hard spot in a theological argument, just tell them to read Hebrews 9:5b, and just walk away....

You’ll get the last word every time.

The Baptist preacher just finished his sermon for the day and proceeded toward the back of the church for his usual greetings and handshaking as the congregation left the church. After shaking a few adult hands he came upon the seven year old son of one of the Deacons of the church.

“Good morning, Johnny,” the preacher said as he reached out to shake Joanthan’s hand.

As he was doing do he felt something in the palm of Johnny’s hand. “What’s this?” the preacher asked.

“Money,” said Johnny with a big smile on his face, “It’s for you!”

“I don’t want to take your money, Jonathan,” the preacher answered.

“I want you to have it,” said Johnny. After a short pause Jonathan continued, “My daddy says you’re the poorest preacher we ever had and I want to help you.”

Church Bulletin Mistakes

Please remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs Jones to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The beautiful flowers on the altar this morning are to celebrate the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

If any of the congregation have children and don’t know it, there is a nursery downstairs.

Everyone is welcome this Tuesday at 4 PM for an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

At the Ladies Liturgy Society this Thursday, Mrs Smith will sing “Put Me In My Little Bed” accompanied by the pastor.

This Friday at 5 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.

This week we invite any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

This Monday we will be holding a ‘Bean Supper’ in the church hall. Music will follow.

The topic for our sermon next week will be “What is Hell?”. Come early and listen to our choir practice.

This evening there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

The 2003 Church Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

‘Weight Watchers’ will meet at 7 PM in the church hall. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

There will be a special collection today to pay for eight new choir robes. These are needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Mrs Williams will be going in to hospital this week for testes.

Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.

This week our Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan, who are preparing for the girth of their first child.

The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.