Gill,
All my replies have been in response to other replies and questions re:Singles for Christ ministries & services and helping when feeling awkward...After 22 years we do not need to promote Singles for Christ, as people find us through word of mouth, our website, ministers, phone book, etc.

And a never married man kindly donated his time and experience in building websites, to assisting us develop a SFC website-it has been a real blessing and assisted many thousands of wonderful single and single again persons.

Interestingly, the website and my participation on a discussion list with other ministers and lay people who had in common a Ministry to Singles in their Churches, from all over the world, got me an invitation to speak and lead a workshop in San Diego USA at a National Future Generation Leadership Conference in 2002, and I spoke on: “Living with Purpose + Ministering with Passion = Leaving A Legacy,” and then two offers to go to the USA to be a Singles Minister in 2 very large churches with 2 very large singles ministries.

However, I appreciate the feedback, one day I hope to update the website, as technology in this area rapidly moves.

Colin

Hi Heather,
Here are some further responses to your observations and questions raised in your posts:
My observation of church ministries is that they stem from like minded people working together for a common cause. The ministry eventuates because there is a common ground for people coming together in a safe environment.

Ministries in churches tend to be run by people with an vested interest in the ministry. So kids groups are run by parents with kids. Family nights are run by families.
Yes, Heather, this is human nature, a reality of how many ministries start and continue today...My wife, Dianne, and I found ourselves Single Again, Dianne with two very young children, myself Single Again no children, and we independently initially started Singles Ministries in our local churches. I believe God through His Holy Spirit places on peoples hearts to head up and lead ministries, often because of personal experience with special insights; and He uses ordinary people to do extraordinary ministry in His name.

But it seems harder to find single people who can/want to actively work towards supporting like minded Christians. It is harder to find a group of singles .... who want to run a group for singles.
Yes, Heather, this is true...Many single and single again men and women, want to be ministered to, loved, accepted, and be able to socialise and grow spiritually with other like minded people.

We always encourage churches who want to start a singles ministry, to make sure they have a leader or two for the singles ministry, church/parish support especially from the minister/priest and church leadership.

Singles ministry is also tricky because it is difficult to know what to offer.
If you look at our website www.singlesforchrist.org.au or phone me I would be happy to assist you with some suggestions.

I love the topics you have covered that you shared in your post above.
Thank you, many other topics, have been explored but these have been popular and well received.

However to have programs for singles ..... all of a sudden the meeting is weighted down with ..... is it just a match making group(?). [I mean this runs through people’s minds even if they don’t say it out loud.]
Yes, Heather, I think for many you are spot on. However, we say to people,
if you are coming to meet someone special (Mr Right or Ms Out of this World), you may be disappointed...However, if you come with a desire to make some friendships-you will not be disappointed for many, many fantastic friendships have been made-especially if you don’t come with a “Gift of Misery” attitude; and you come on a regular basis…

And where does one start?
Asking God, what is His Pupose for Your Life and whether He has placed on your heart, a heart for Ministry to Singles...Perhaps, as you look around your Parish you may identify others who could also either help you or do this themselves and you need to run it past them...Then speak to your Priest/Minister and Parish Leaders about starting a Ministry to Singles, and ask for some help from those already in Singles Ministry to help your Parish do just that...Remember, God uses Ordinary People to do Extraordinary Ministry...He asks us to Live Out Our Lives With Purpose, Passion, Courage and Commitment; and as you rightly say, needs Singles and Others Availability
with all their Unique, God Given Talents and Experiences to “Make A Difference” in your Church Community and Local Community for His Glory and Honour…

Colin and Dianne Murdoch
“Making A Difference”

“If current trends continue, and do not stabilise, the Single Adult population in Australia will exceed marrieds sometime during the first decade of the new millennium, 2000-2010,” says Colin Murdoch, 1986 Founder and Singles Minister of Singles For Christ Parramatta, NSW, Australia.

He continues, “In Census 1986, 42.6% of the population 15 years and over were either never married separated, divorced or widowed. This had risen in Census 1996 to 47% and in Census 2001 was moving closer to 50%!

Census 2006 confirmed our worst fears with 50.4% of the population are now Single, Separated, Divorced or Widowed, and for the first time in a long, long time, outnumber marrieds’ in Australia…

“It’s amazing to ponder the evangelism, outreach and ministry opportunities in the area of Single Adult Ministry, when you consider that Single and Single Again Persons now outnumber marrieds for the first time in recent history!

“Therefore, the Church’s response to the changes taking place in Australian society is vital!”

This begs the question, “Is there a place for Singles in today’s Churches?” The short answer is, “Absolutely!” However, Christian Singles well know, except for some welcome exceptions, the Church has not done a very good job of including Singles as part of its Church Community.

Protestants have inherited the Reformation emphasis on marriage and family. The evangelical Church has traditionally been a place for the family, especially couples with children.

Lyle Schaller describes local Churches as “having many ‘doors’ which newcomers can walk through to become involved in the Church. The door for couples and families may be wide open, but the door for Singles may seem shut tight, with a hand-lettered sign tacked to the door which declares, “Temporarily Closed: Come back when you are married and have two children.”

Also, Gary Collins said “that when Singles turn to the Church, many find that they are unwelcome or at best tolerated by Church members who don’t understand, don’t know how to relate to singles, and sometimes blatantly reject unmarried people, “especially if they are divorced”.

He continues, “Something is wrong with a Church that sees Single Adults as misfits, has no place in the body for unmarried people, lacks programs to meet the needs of Singles, and shows no understanding or desire to understand their struggles; especially if the Single person is separated, divorced or never married. “

Do Single or Single Again Men and Women feel that their Singleness has sometimes held them back from Leadership positions within their Parish?

Or has their Singleness been seen by Ministers and other Lay Leaders as
a season for them to express and Live out their Purpose in their Parishes
and for the Kingdom of God?

Colin

Hi Craig and others,
DivorceCare mentioned in a new thread is certainly an excellent resource no matter how near or long it has been since your separation or divorce… A number of churches are now using it as has Singles for Christ… The encouragement, sharing, support and practical assistance from others going through separation or divorce, and who are keen to grow through the process and move on is also invaluable…

We also use other helpful resources which came out well before DivorceCare and since, and all have been a blessing and touched peoples’ lives...Go for it!

Pastor Colin Murdoch
1986 Founder Singles for Christ
www.singlesforchrist.org.au

PS: My wife, Dianne and I, socialised today with an Anglican man who came through our first ever Divorce Recovery Workshop...Even though we have kept in touch for nearly two decades since, we remembered back to how he came into the Singles Ministry hurting deeply, and how God through His Holy Spirit used the resources back then, the people in the workshop, and God touched and healed his life, so he could move positively forward, and he in turn has been a blessing, joy and support to other hurting people…

Or has their Singleness been seen by Ministers and other Lay Leaders as
a season for them to express and Live out their Purpose in their Parishes
and for the Kingdom of God?

Shouldn’t all Christians seek to express and live out their purpose in their Parishes and for the Kingdom of God regardless of their marital or family status and shouldn’t Minsters and Lay leaders seek to encourage all parishionsers, be they single (young or old), divorced or widowed or married to do this?

I can’t see Jesus or the Apostles being involved in “singles” ministry. I think we need to be careful in creating different categories of Christian, whether on the basis of marital status or some other criteria such as race or culture or even age.

Hi Melinda.
Can I suggest you edit your post and change the code block to a quote block. Unfortunately code blocks seriously disrupt the forum layout.

Edit: Thanks. Looks much better now :))

Colins question:"Or has their Singleness been seen by Ministers and other Lay Leaders as a season for them to express and Live out their Purpose in their Parishes and for the Kingdom of God?”

Melindas’ statement and question in response: “Shouldn’t all Christians seek to express and live out their purpose in their Parishes and for the Kingdom of God regardless of their marital or family status and shouldn’t Minsters and Lay leaders seek to encourage all parishionsers, be they single (young or old), divorced or widowed or married to do this?

I can’t see Jesus or the Apostles being involved in “singles” ministry. I think we need to be careful in creating different categories of Christian, whether on the basis of marital status or some other criteria such as race or culture or even age. “

Colins response to Melinda: “ Absolutely spot on Melinda! However, we have failed to stop, and be all inclusive in our ministries to all people both within our Church communities and local communities; except for some welcome exceptions...We have continued to invest $Billions per annum in Australia being the Church, whatever that may mean for local Parish and Denominational Leadership, lay or ordained, with some wonderful ministries to children, youth, young adults, women and men, but continue to fail miserably overall, in ministry to formerly marrieds-especially the separated and divorced, and many never married and some widowed; who now outnumber marrieds’ for the first time in a long, long time with Census 2006 showing that they number 50.4% of the population…

Jesus was a Single Adult and I can see him involved in Ministry to Singles,
the Bible has examples of Him doing this, and His Commandment to all who accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour and became Christians, was to “Carry out the Great Commission and the Great Commandment to all.”

He didn’t say, just marrieds or marrieds with children will do…

Jesus, God Incarnate, loves us all, and His Commandments, are timeless for all generations, races, sexes, marital status, and if we as ordinary, everyday
lovers of God are going to make a difference, ‘a real difference in our Church Communities and Local Communities’, we are going to need to have a
“Greater Commitment to the Great Commission and the Great Commandment!”

Pastor Colin Murdoch
1986 Founder Singles for Christ Australia
www.singlesforchrist.org.au

Jesus was a Single Adult and I can see him involved in Ministry to Singles,
the Bible has examples of Him doing this, and His Commandment to all who accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour and became Christians, was to “Carry out the Great Commission and the Great Commandment to all.”

He didn’t say, just marrieds or marrieds with children will do

Hi Colin,

I am not disputing that Jesus ministered to married and unmarried people alike, rather I just think that we overemphasise one’s marital/family status by denoting one’s needs for ministry on the basis of that marital status. Jesus ministered to singles but don’t agree that he was involved in “singles ministry” if you understand the distinction as I see it.

I agree with you that “we” have failed to be inclusive in our ministry, my personal preference is for ministry to be inclusvie, rather than establishing new exclusive ministries. I do, however, accept that this may well be impractical in many circumstances, Please don’t take my comments as a criticism of your ministry, I do think you are probably one of the minority of people attempting to reach a group who are often excluded from traditional church activities, so more power to you.

God bless

Melinda