“What was your sermon on this week?” one preacher asked his friend.

“I preached on the rich man’s responsibility to give to the poor,” the other answered.

“How’d it go?”

“Well,” he sighed, “I know I convinced the poor.”

Three little boys were concerned because they couldn’t get anyone to play with them.

They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn’t go to Sunday School

So they went to the nearest Church.

But, only the Cleaner was there .

One little boy said,

“We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us Will you baptize us?”

“Sure,” said the Cleaner.

He took them into the bathroom and dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time.

Then He said, “You are now baptized!”

When they got outside, one of them asked, “What religion do you think we are?”

The oldest one said,

“We’re not Kathlick, because they pour the water on you.”

“We’re not Babtis, because they dunk all of you in the water.”

“We’re not Hanglicans , because they just sprinkle water on you.”

The littlest one said, “Didn’t you smell that water?!”

They all joined in asking,

“Yeah! What do you think that means?”

“I think it means we’re Pisspooterians.

Phrases of Wisdom :

- Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

- Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

- No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

- A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

- Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

- Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

- Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

- There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

- Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

- By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

- Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

- Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

- Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

- Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Amen!

(Little blond boy in back seat of car...)
“Dad, why did they build the Great Wall of China?”

“Erhem, The Great Wall of China was built by Emperor Nasi Goreng… too keep out the Driscoll threads. Too many Driscoll threads...”

And here was I thinking that the Great Wall of China was built in anticipation of the North Pole ice caps melting and inundating the world under 200 metres of water - or did I mis-hear Al Gore’s interpretation ?

You did, it’s **only** 80 cm to 2 meters by 2100. My joke had more funny in it.

That’s right, it wasn’t Al Gore who made that claim - it was the Green Party’s outrageous scare-tactic ad in last week’s WA election. And that wasn’t funny either.

Dave Lankshear - 09 September 2008 11:23 AM

(Little blond boy in back seat of car...)
“Dad, why did they build the Great Wall of China?”

“Erhem, The Great Wall of China was built by Emperor Nasi Goreng… too keep out the Driscoll threads. Too many Driscoll threads...”

Mate, I laughed. Tell you what, you stop contributing to the Climate Change Sceptics thread and revive one of the Dead Horse ones that already exist to oil (sorry) the interests of those interested, and I’ll add my vote to the Dead Horsing of a few Driscoll threads. Not that my vote counts for heaps, or anything really, but I want you to know that I’m on your side here!

Gordo ... pfffft… needs more funny to be in this thread.

If in doubt, add a duck. Ducks are always funny.

Ducks are oily creatures. Actually, fatty, but at the same time the meat tends towards dryness. That’s not funny—more like a judgement of God on duck hunters.

I was more thinking along the lines of…

“Professor Liebowitz suddenly realised that he can come to the conference without his duck!”

Or…

“Anatidaphobea: The fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you!”

Kevin Goddard - 06 September 2008 09:16 AM

“What was your sermon on this week?” one preacher asked his friend.

“I preached on the rich man’s responsibility to give to the poor,” the other answered.

“How’d it go?”

“Well," he sighed, “I know I convinced the poor.”

Thanks for this Kevin.  I used it in my sermon last Sunday, the first of 4 on ‘Possessions’!
Bob

Bob Cameron - 11 September 2008 02:09 AM

Kevin Goddard - 06 September 2008 09:16 AM

“What was your sermon on this week?” one preacher asked his friend.

“I preached on the rich man’s responsibility to give to the poor,” the other answered.

“How’d it go?”

“Well," he sighed, “I know I convinced the poor.”

Thanks for this Kevin.  I used it in my sermon last Sunday, the first of 4 on ‘Possessions’!
Bob

Good to know that this thread is useful for more than our collective amusement.

Cheers,
Andrew

Andrew Kroiter - 11 September 2008 01:28 PM

Good to know that this thread is useful for more than our collective amusement.

Cheers,
Andrew

Hi Andrew,

Welcome back. Glad to hear from you again - an answer to the prayers of many. Are you back to work or whatever ?

Humour was a key ingredient in Mark Driscoll’s recent “Burn Your Plastic Jesus” talk - it is indeed an effective tool.

Cheers, Kevin