“Contents of building: Christians.
May contain traces of nuts.”

[Your parish council might not like that one.]

“This church is not full of hypocrites.
There is room for you”

(an oldie but a goodie :-)

Steve said:

“Sign broken, come inside for message”

Cringeworthy? You bet!! :)

But Steve, that’s what I have up at the moment!!!

Gordo, I love your last few suggestions.  Those that take the p*** out of ourselves are often the most effective.  Think I’ll do the ‘traces of nuts one next’.  Trouble is, with so many mentally ill in our church it may be a little close to the bone!

I think most of those to be found on the net, and I have trawled through thousands, very few are not cringeworthy.  So, if you have any original ones keep ‘em coming.

Hey Tim,

I reckon the topical ones can work really well. They often attract media attention. You may be able to work something around:

* Sydney FC in the football grand final.. your in soccer-mad leichhardt after all!
* The Commonwealth Games.

[quote author="Jeremy Halcrow"] Sydney FC in the football grand final

How about....

Come and meet the creator of the rolling spheres

Kind of obscure though, if you don’t know Crown Him With Many Crowns....

* Sydney FC in the football grand final.. your in soccer-mad leichhardt after all!

I was trying to think of something witty around the initials FC… I haven’t got past ‘for Christ’ which is pretty dud.

oK somebody needs to be a killjoy and I can’t believe it but I am going to sound like a fundamentalist but I would beg you to reconsider if you are actually trying to engage with your community or just amuse the converted (that’s ok but maybe you could just put it in the church bulletin rather than going to the trouble of a sign).

Think I’ll do the ‘traces of nuts one next’.

Nooooo.  You see taking the ehm mickey and having cringeworthy signs is an “in-joke” amongst church goers but it just reinforces the"weirdness" of Christians in a bad way.  Most people would genuinely think that you were trying to be funny with those signs and would just roll their eyes ‘there’s those pathetic Christians with their uncool corny jokes-how embarrassing”

I asked a very intelligent young Dr what she would think of a sign that said “Don’t give up - Moses was a basketcase too” Now I think it is very clever and would make a great Sermon or Sunday School lesson title-she said-she thought that it sounded like they were trying to help people with problems.  I asked her about the basket issue, when I explained about the bullrushes story she went oh yes I think I’ve heard about that but i don’t know anything about religion.  See most people these days know so little of the bible that jokes like that go over their head and things about nuts and basket cases (without a context) just reinforce the idea so prevalent in secular Australia that it is only people who have “something wrong with them” that “need” God or the church. 

I do genuinely like the labor joke it is clever and it is actually funny and topical even tho many noon-church goers won’t get it.  There is probably some potential in the current affairs approach but in this world of trivial one liners and superficiality why can’t we give people an alternative using the beauty and poetry of God’s word, here’s a few random examples but there’s plenty more where they came from :)

We preach Christ crucified

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom and to depart from evil is understanding.

Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint

Wealth is worthless in the day of wrath.

neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord

Boy, that Melinda is such a fundamentalist!

Just kidding Melinda.  The point you raise is an important one - who are we trying to engage? And if it is the outsider then we can’t use references they won’t understand.

I also agree that they already see us as psycho for all the wrong reasons; and bad signboards are among those wrong reasons.  Hence, this thread.

Actually, coming up with a good sign is quite hard because what I think is ho-hum I later find people think is quite good (and, sadly vica-versa!).

In defense of Gordo (for the first and last time), I thought the ‘nuts’ one was quite good, but I take your point. It may reinforce their bais.

The trouble with bible verses is that they are quite preachy, and people hate preachy signs.  They talk at them rather than engage with them.

Oh, OK then. In view of these comments

How about…

“Church on Sundays.
Guaranteed nut free!”

;-)

[quote author="Jeremy Halcrow"]

* Sydney FC in the football grand final.. your in soccer-mad leichhardt after all!

I was trying to think of something witty around the initials FC… I haven’t got past ‘for Christ’ which is pretty dud.

Jesus Saves
Better than Bosnich!

“Church on Sundays.
Guaranteed nut free!”

If only I could make that guarantee!

Love the Bosnich idea.  Might get the signed ripped down though.  Think I’ll save that one for the World Cup when Bosnich is actually playing.

God answers knee mail

CH- - CH - what’s missing?
(don’t put this on the sign but the answer is UR!)

You haven’t got far to fall if you’re already on your knees!

There’s a church over here on one of the big highways in Perth that always has ‘silly’ signs! and one near Lee’s old house.

[quote author="Tim Foster"]

“Church on Sundays.
Guaranteed nut free!”

If only I could make that guarantee!

Love the Bosnich idea.  Might get the signed ripped down though.  Think I’ll save that one for the World Cup when Bosnich is actually playing.

G’day Tim,

Sorry to hijack your thread, but are you sure that Bosnich is going to be playing? And if so, for whom? If he isn’t, and that’s what I suspect, it might make your sign look rather silly.

Cheers,
Andrew

OK I feel a whole series coming on here.

You need a skeleton logo for each of these, could also work as a keyring.

First one:

Resurrections R US

(The “R” is backwards, naturally)

(In the resurrection series)

A before and after picture—on the left, the aforementioned skeleton logo.

On the right, a blank space.

Underneath, the “before” and “after” captions appropriately placed.

Then:

Ask here about resurrections

(In the resurrection series)

A before and after picture—on the left, the aforementioned skeleton logo.

On the right, an angelic looking cherub, like one of the Michaelangelo ones in a beatific vision.

Underneath, the “before” and “after” captions appropriately placed.

Then:

Gain weight now! Ask me how!