And When Did You Last See Your Father?

Father-son relationships are an important topic within Christian circles, never more so than today.

In recent years, writers from across the theological spectrum have written books, run seminars and drawn attention to the significance in a man’s life of the relationships he has with his father, with his son and, of course, with His heavenly Father. John Eldredge is just one name that comes to mind. For me personally, the last few years have seen much reflection on these issues and I’m grateful to God for the journey on which He has led me as I did so.

Therefore, I went to see And When Did You Last See Your Father? with a keen interest in how a secular film would deal with the subject.

The presence of Colin Firth and Jim Broadbent was also an attraction, as these actors tend to bring substance to their roles. They didn’t disappoint and they both deliver performances, which ensure that their characters were real and totally believable.

Which is just as well, since the movie is based on a true story, an autobiographical memoir of almost the same title by Blake Morrison.

The first two scenes neatly set up the relationship between Blake and his father, Arthur. The film opens with a very young boy watching his father scam his way into the “3 bob seats” at a car race meeting, when he’d only paid for “2 bob seats”. A voiceover says that the boy thought his father was “invincible”.  It then moves to a scene in which the adult Blake is receiving a literary award, though without any support or congratulations from Arthur, who makes light of his son’s chosen profession. Awe of his father has been replaced by frustration and hurt at his insensitivity and lack of affection.

The rest of the film moves – seamlessly and effectively – between current happenings in Blake’s life and flashback recollections from his boyhood and teenage years. The story line is driven by Arthur’s impending death, having contracted terminal cancer. As he watches his father dying, Blake recalls disastrous camping trips, embarrassing family functions, his father’s flirtatious behaviour towards Aunty Beaty and his own teenage relationship with a young housekeeper that his parents (both doctors) had employed. It becomes obvious that, while everyone else sees Arthur as a good natured, amusing man, Blake experiences his father’s “jokes” as abuse and humiliation, to the detriment of their relationship.

As he reflects, Blake realises that there are things that need to be talked about with his father. Above all, he needs to hear Arthur say, just once, that he’s proud of his son. However, circumstances and lack of courage prevent that conversation from ever happening.

The movie’s title is a question that Blake asks himself, wondering when there was a moment in his life that fully encapsulates who his father was for him. When had he seen his father as he really is? He calls to mind an episode when he was an adult, but in which Arthur still treats him like a helpless boy.

After the funeral, Blake confronts Aunty Beaty. She doesn’t deny something happened between her and Arthur, but assures Blake that his father loved his mother more than anyone in the world and that he was very proud of his son.

The impact of And When Did You Last See Your Father? comes from the fact that so many father-son relationships are just like this. A son needs nothing more than to know his father thinks he’s a good man, a worthy man, a man he’s proud to be the father to. But so many dads never tell them! Nor often do they behave as if they believe it. They are emotionally shut down and incapable of, or unwilling to, take the risk of sharing something deep and intimate with their sons – or their wife, for that matter.

For Blake Morrison, hearing these words from Aunty Beaty give him just enough to be able to finally recall his father clearly and with some fondness, despite the dysfunctionality of their relationship. He forgives and he grieves. The final scene, in which the family scatters Arthur’s ashes, conveys a touch of hope that some healing has taken place in Blake’s wounded soul.

Although I was not expecting a comedy, the movie was nonetheless quite a bit heavier than anticipated. There could have been a bit more humour or whimsy, but Anand Tucker directs the scenes between Firth and Broadbent with a deft hand, ensuring that for the most part the story is told gently.

If you go to the movies for escapism or just to be entertained, then this film is probably not for you. It’s too real for that and for many viewers it will be really close to the bone. But that’s what makes it a worthy effort. If after seeing And When Did You Last See Your Father? you don’t feel like phoning your own dad, or telling your son you’re proud of him, then I’d suggest you weren’t really paying attention.

Latest articles in watching
- The Wager - 2 weeks, 3 days ago
- Packed to the Rafters - 3 weeks, 3 days ago
- Burn After Reading - 1 month ago